#1. The references between you and pregnant farm animals are endless.
I have been known to make a few of these references myself in the past. But when you are surrounded by farmers in a farming community...well, farmers aren't exactly known for handling things in the classiest way sometimes. You have to learn to take it with a grain of salt when someone tells you, "You're starting to look like that ol' gray sway-backed mare!"
#2. You are suddenly not allowed to do things you have done for probably the last 30 years...and will immediately be allowed to do them again as soon as the baby is out of your body.
Suddenly I wasn't supposed to lift more than 20 pounds (and apparently a bowling ball is nearly that much although I swear it felt lighter). I probably also wasn't supposed to be crawling over fences (but that was the best way to get into the barn to see the puppies). I wasn't supposed to push around furniture (hey, they could have done it before I finally did). I wasn't supposed to use the riding lawnmower either (but I asked the doctor and they said it was fine as long as it wasn't on the side of a huge hill where the mower would roll over.)
#3. When I DID want to use pregnancy as an excuse to get out of something, they weren't having it.
You know, things like doing the dishes, carrying a huge laundry basket full of clothes, cooking a meal, cleaning up mouse poop, vacuuming, dusting, etc.
#4. I did kind of miss my feet.
I could still see my feet and reach my feet if I needed to. But the summer time is the one time I actually paint my toenails because I wear flip-flops all the time. The last time I was able to paint them was in May before high school graduation...and it involved a lot of grunting and shortness of breath. My husband refused to paint them for me, so I had naked toenails through the summer.
#5. No one tells you that now when your stomach growls, it sounds like it is in your chest. And that is simply because that is pretty much where it is now relocated.
I still can't get over hearing my stomach growl that close to my face. It is just a very weird thing to feel.
#6. Simply getting off the couch is now a very serious accomplishment that I think should be considered a new Olympic event.
I miss the days of not having to find a handhold on the couch to pull myself up with, or using my husband to push off of when I need to get up off of the couch. It isn't pretty folks. And it is a multiple-stage process.
#7. I really, really, really, really miss my jeans.
Spandex or elastic becomes a girl's best friends during pregnancy. You appreciate it much more when you really drag out wearing your regular jeans and pants until the last possible moment before switching to maternity clothing. Wearing the regular pants isn't the most pleasant thing in the world when you feel like your body is being cut into half every time you try to lean over an pick something up. However, wearing non-stop clothing with elastic around the waistband gets a bit tiresome. Especially when those pants stretch out while wearing them and you spend half the time pulling them back up.
#8. The pregnant body and all the awkwardness and uncomfortable things that go with it are an endless source of amusement for my husband and pretty much any man.
Enough said on this one. A man will just never fully be able to understand it.
#9. Going to the county fair while nearly 9 months pregnant means that you will never be able to walk from point A to point B without the following conversation.
Acquaintance: "Hey there! So you still haven't had the baby?"
Me: "Nope"
A: "How are you feeling?"
Me: "Fat" (It just got to where I didn't know what to say)
A: "Oh, you don't look fat. But I feel for you having to be pregnant during the hot summer."
Me: "Thanks"
A: "So have you had any contractions yet?"
Me: "Nope."
A: "When are you due?"
Me: "A week and a half."
A: "Well, next year you will have a little one with you at the fair."
Me: "Yep"
A: "Enjoy this year while you can."
Me: "Thanks."
Then I would walk about 10 steps and repeat the same conversation with someone else.
#10. When you go to a birthing class with your husband, you are already aware of some of the things that come along with pregnancy because of watching cows birth calves for years on end.
At one point the nurses teaching the class discussed that some people want to see the placenta after it has passed and they asked if I would want to do that. I quickly said, "Why would people do that? I'm a farmgirl, I've seen it plenty with cows...so I'm good!"
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